Journal-Times (Grayson, KY)

February 20, 2013

Will we need a computer password to get to Heaven?

By Keith Kappes - Publisher

Feb. 20, 2013 —     Like most folks my age, all of my children and most of my grandchildren are more computer literate than me.

    To be honest, the only two grandchildren who aren’t ahead of me technologically are the two born in the last six months.

    My two-year-old grandson (and namesake) asked for my cell phone last week at church. He started flicking the screen and immediately found a game that I didn’t even know was there.

    When I asked him to return it, he asked me to say “cheese” then took my picture with the phone before giving it back to me with a cute smile.

    I complained to his mother and she told me not to worry about it but I should never let him have my tablet computer. I was afraid to ask why.

    Honestly, I haven’t recovered from getting email from my oldest granddaughter when she was barely four years old.

    Now she’s 14 and thinks I’m a fossil because I don’t Facebook or constantly send text messages or walk around with ear buds listening to “One Direction,” a British boy band.

    Her father makes a great living in information technology but, like most geeky types, he can flaunt his knowledge and computer skills.

    I called him late one night with a problem with my home computer and he pretended to listen for a few minutes.

    Then, in a condescending tone of voice, he told me that my problem obviously was with “chair- keyboard interface.”

    I was about to brag to his mother about how quickly our smart son had diagnosed the problem when she looked away, trying to hide her amusement.

    I must have looked puzzled because she took great delight in pointing out that he was saying that I was the problem because I was the connection between the desk chair and the computer keyboard.

    Then I remembered that this was the same little genius who, as a seventh grader, dismantled the first computer we gave him and then, to our amazement, put it back together…and it worked.

    He’s also the same person who referred me to a book entitled “Computers for Dummies,” saying the book had been “dumbed down” for folks like me.

    I’ve since learned there are nearly 2,000 of those books for “dummies,” including such topics as differential equations and organic chemistry.

    Many of us “low tech” persons are still in this “high tech” world. When my time comes, I just hope the Lord is ready with the “save” key.