Journal-Times (Grayson, KY)

Wednesday's Post

April 16, 2014

What happened to the art of roasting?

April 16, 2014 — I was channel surfing recently when I happened upon one of those late night programs selling videos of old television shows.

This one caught my attention because it was for the old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts, a show that ran 10 years on NBC with some of the funniest insults ever uttered by human beings to each other.

I resisted the temptation to buy a DVD of all 54 episodes but watching a few video clips brought to mind some roasts that I have heard – or used – at such events.

My grandmother could never understand how folks could talk and joke that way with each other and not be angry.

However, I did catch her smiling at something Ronald Reagan, then governor of California, said about his dark hair.

Here are some of my favorite “roast” comments from various sources:

  • Childhood friends of the honoree were invited but couldn’t attend because most of them were in the witness protection program.

  • The honoree’s parents had planned on a big family but he was born first. Later, his photo appeared on a poster for Planned Parenthood.

  • A college professor was retiring when his dean observed that the old prof had done the work of three men – Larry, Moe and Curly.

  • Another honoree’s best friend said he would never forget the first time they met, although he had been trying to do so for 30 years.

  • A general said his brother-in-law who served under him didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear”…or of several other words for that matter.

  • An orchestra conductor was reflecting on his long, distinguished career when he surprised his roast audience by saying he should have been a stage coach driver instead of a maestro. That way he would have spent his career looking at only six horses’ butts.

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Wednesday's Post
  • ‘Who’s gonna fill their shoes’ a key question

    That question was the title of a great country song released in 1985 by the legendary George Jones. That scenario also applies today to the communities we call home and our local organizations that make life better for all of us.

    July 23, 2014

  • When neighbors were really neighbors…

    Lately I’ve been remembering why I’m glad I grew up in a small town where neighbors were really neighbors, not just someone who lived next door or across the road.

    July 16, 2014

  • I don’t have a pet animal but I do have pets

    After a lifetime of listening to friends and co-workers talk incessantly about their pets, I have decided to share some words about mine…my pet peeves.

    July 9, 2014

  • I make no apologies for loving my country

    Friday is the birthday of the United States of America. As an American, I’m incredibly proud of that fact.

    July 2, 2014

  • Can’t everyone grow their own vegetables?

    The sight of home vegetable gardens brings to mind a gardening adventure worth sharing. My friend and I heard someone say at church that growing your own vegetables could save money while providing your family with better, fresher food.

    June 25, 2014

  • ‘Let’s go fly a kite’ is more than a song title

    Are you concerned that too many kids today are preoccupied with handheld electronic devices and don’t know how to play outdoors? I, too, shared those feelings until a recent visit to the seashore with my grandchildren.

    June 18, 2014

  • Old ways, old days sometimes look better

    Dr. Jack Ellis, Morehead’s senior resident historian and a dear friend, sent me a copy of a clipping from the Jan. 24, 1935, issue of the Rowan County News, now called The Morehead News. “Woman fined in county court for gossiping” is the headline.

    June 11, 2014

  • Where do we find such men…and women?

    The tiny American flags fluttered in the breeze of a beautiful day. The hillside cemetery outside Grayson seemed to be covered with them like spring flowers. Again, I was awestruck by the sight of so many red, white and blue symbols of personal courage and patriotism.

    June 4, 2014

  • The ups and downs of a political journey

    In the spirit of this political season, I am recounting the tale of an affable chap who loved politics but found the winner’s circle only once.

    May 28, 2014

  • Boys of summer bring good memories

    May 21, 2014