Dec. 22, 2010 — FRANKFORT - We’ve all had our fill of politics, right? It’s Christmas, so let’s have some fun by offering gift wishes for some politicians. It’s all in good humor, hoping to elicit a smile, no harm intended.
I’d offer Gov. Steve Beshear free lessons from Paul Patton on how to get along with lawmakers from his own party. Patton could also help with Republicans (not named David Williams) but there’s not enough time before the next General Assembly. Beshear dreams of fundraising sugar plums, but winning over lawmakers from his party won’t hurt his re-election chances.
Williams, who wants Beshear’s job, needs a little girl in his life – one who will invite him to a proper tea party. I know from experience when my daughter was small, such tea parties teach patience and diplomacy, even a bit of humility. As a bonus, he’d get some actual tea party credentials.
Mitch McConnell gets an abacus. The man who reads polls and counts votes better than anyone seems to lose track when the numbers get really big. He lambasts Barack Obama for deficit spending – then brokers a tax cut extension that adds more to the federal deficit than the economic stimulus or the TARP bank bailout. He also needs a very large net as he herds those Republican cats, some of whom seem drunk on catnip – or is it spiked tea?
I wouldn’t know what to offer Hal Rogers now that he’s been named chairman of the Appropriations Committee, the only gift he really wanted. But in that job, he’ll find some things he likes and ways to keep UNITE, PRIDE and other programs in the Fifth District going strong.
Rand Paul gets the complete works of Ayn Rand and Frederick Hayek. Oh, you say he’s already read them? Then how about a copy of John David Dyche’s biography of Mitch McConnell: Republican Leader? Afterwards, he can consult with Dyche on how members of Delta Kappa Epsilon (Dekes) put youthful college indiscretions behind them, rising to positions of power and influence. Four Dekes – two named Bush – became president and others play key roles in Kentucky.